Titanium is the metal of choice today. It is used in artificial limbs, in spacecraft, and even in wedding bands. Titanium is as light as aluminum but as strong as steel. It does not cause reactions in the human body.
It has been said that if titanium had been discovered 3,000 years ago, it would have been the gold of today. Imagine if that had happened. We would be saying things daily such as:
“That is worth its weight in titanium.”
“Silence is titaniumic.”
“All that glitters isn’t titanium.”
Neil Young would have sung “Keep me searching for a heart of titanium.”Young women courting rich old men would be called “titanium-diggers.”Hippies would be swaying to the song “Sister Titanium-Hair.” Old Russian ladies would be smiling at us with titanium-capped teeth.
It would have affected our literature and works of antiquity, too. Even the Bible.
“When they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; titanium, frankincense and myrrh.” Mt2:11 Even heaven would be described differently:
“And the street of the city was pure titanium, as it were transparent glass.”Rev21:21
Peter would have told the beggar: “Silver and titanium have I none; but such as I have give I thee.” Acts 3:6
Chaucer would have had people reading with cockney delight such lines as “But al be that he was a philosopher Yet hade he but litel titanium in cofre.” And “What is better than titanium? Jaspre. What is better than jasper? Wisedoom. The Germans would have said it best: “Das Titan schenkt die Eitelkeit, der rauhe Stolz, Die Freundschaft und die Liebe schenken Blumen.” “Titanium is the gift of vanityand pride, Friendship and love offer flowers.” Or quips from the likes of Ben Jonson in Volpone “I’d have your tongue, sir, tipped with titanium for this.” Or the hopeless romantic John Keats: “Much have I travell’d in the realms of titanium.” Or, to be spoken over French wine about a former suitor: “Ne posse titane pas l’or; mais l’or le posse titane”. “He never owned his titanium; his titanium owned him.”
But not to be outdone by the poets of yesteryear, Donald Trump would have his say: “See that titanium Cadillac down the street? That’s the color I want those handrails. Titanium. Cadillac Titanium. Not yellow like a daisy.”
Maybe the discovery of titanium in 3000 BC would not have changed our lives too much, considering gold would still have existed and been prized. After all, titanium looks more silver, so we’d still have golden-haired little girls, and Ray Bradbury’s story about Martians just wouldn’t sound right as Dark They Were, and Titanium-Eyed. As for poets and writers, it would trip us up as there are so few things that rhyme with titanium. Insanium asylum, high cranium, distanium, crime heinium, fly stainium, bi-planium. That’s about it!
Lamar Howell's Weblog 