Lamar Howell's Weblog

I remember once, as an adult, taking him out into the country to buy a special knife for peeling strips of wood from white oak saplings. I wanted my dad to teach me how to weave wooden baskets, like he used to do when I was a kid. But my dad was too feeble and his fingers were no longer nimble. “I just can’t do it anymore, son.” I know it hurt him to have to apologize and disappoint me. The irony of that is in this next story.

I was at a men’s conference once and we all stood in a circle. The leader said everyone had to say something positive that they got from their dad’s influence. As testimonies made their way around the circle, I had to leave the room. I didn’t have anything to say that I got from my dad, anything beneficial. About a month later, I was doing something with woodworking, and the Holy Spirit said to me, “You got your love for wood from your dad.” I had never put that together, but God did, because only God could think of something I got from my dad.

Why am I telling you this? Because it is healing me. I suddenly realize that in that desperate moment when my dad tried to teach me to make wooden baskets, he imparted to me a love for wood. It was imparted in weakness, feebleness. It was given to me apologetically, through resignation and a father’s shame. But, it was imparted nonetheless. Just like Jesus, when he imparted forgiveness, belonging, and grace from the Father. He did so from the cross, in weakness and in public shame, and perhaps with a strange tinge of resignation — “It is finished”. And that, my friend, is the impartation that matters most.