Lamar Howell's Weblog

I feel no alibi, no friend

can understand what grips at my chest

and wads my shirt up in its fist

What bitterness I taste in every gulp of air

that was once free

How the American flag in the breeze

mocks, indicts, condemns me – deep magenta in its shame

How I grieve, nearly loathe the masked wanderers

on our streets and in our stores

How heavy freedom must have become

for them to loose it so easily from their shoulders

and let it fall

Cloaks of history lie rain-soaked under trampling feet

Garlands of past victories hang from every fencepost

unable to take root

so far from the rich soil of culture

Language itself is oxymoronic

Babel all over again

The constant drone of Siric syrupy sweet voices

telling us not to be near human skin

Never to touch, embrace, or feel someone’s breath again

Or see a smile

In this dark addiction to safety

I feel oppressed but

I have no alibi